


You Motherfucker

by Sourwoif



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Safe Sane and Consensual, UST, and it does NOT get satisfied, art included, attempt at sex, but not in really infuriating way, cliffhanger ending, happy birthday steve, just a “jfc” way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 14:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourwoif/pseuds/Sourwoif
Summary: Tony loses to Bucky in a poker game and agrees to getting tied up naked without context. Bucky spends the entire time telling anecdotes about Steve. Tony doesn’t realize he’s technically Steve’s “gift” until the moment he’s walked in on.They’re both on board for having sex. Things don’t go according to plan.





	You Motherfucker

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be smut, but then I realized I can’t write smut seriously. So...enjoy!

[Link to Art for This](https://sourwoif.tumblr.com/post/175524084105/its-steebs-birthday-and-buckaroo-wins-a-game-of)

 

“So I told him, ‘listen Stevie, suck it up and stop bitching’, so he gave me the dirtiest look and did it better than I ever could,” Bucky reminisced, tightening the knot slightly at Tony’s ankles. “Too tight?”

 

“No, it’s fine.This isn’t what I had in mind when you said I’d have to help you with your BDSM technique.” Tony stared at the ceiling, unsure of how he’d gotten here. Oh, right. He’d thought he’d be able to beat a senile super soldier at poker.

 

“If you’ve changed your mind...” Bucky paused to peer at Tony, who only shook his head slightly.

 

“I haven’t, it’s just- I didn’t know you wanted to do...this- with me, at least. Uh. It’s even weirder that you keep mentioning Steve. Am I supposed to be a stand in for him? ‘Cause that’s something that even I wouldn’t agree to—

 

“You’re pretty dim for a genius, y’know that?” Bucky fiddled with the bow on Tony’s crotch. “I’m not gonna do anything with you, that’s on the back burner. Anyway, Friday’s on standby so if you don’t want in on this anymore just yell your safe word. I’ll come and untie you, got it?”

 

“Wait- what? What? You’re not even sticking around?”

 

Tony got a nice view of Bucky’s backstabbing ass as he waltzed out the room.

 

“That bitch,” Tony hissed.

 

“What would you like to set your safe word to, boss?” Friday’s voice contained enough barely restrained bemusement to dampen Tony’s mood further.

 

“Set it to, ‘Fuck You Barnes, You Motherfucker’.”

 

“Doesn’t that seem a bit wordy? Maybe something shorter would be sufficient—

 

He closed his eyes and let out the most miserable sound he could, Friday falling silent in response. While in the process of planning Bucky’s untimely demise via spontaneous hair combustion, he heard the door swing open and swiveled to verbally assault whoever the intruder was.

 

“What did you wanna talk about, Buck- Tony?!”

 

Oh sweet mother of god.

 

James Buchanan Barnes was a dead man.

 

Tony opened his mouth to explain the situation but hesitated when Bucky’s previous words resonated in his skull.

 

‘You’re pretty dim for a genius, y’know that?’

 

“After we have sex,” Tony blurted at Steve’s tomato red, stammering face, “I’m gonna kick Bucky’s ass.”

 

Wow. Really suave. No way would Captain America be able to resist the overwhelming charm of Tony Stark.

 

He managed not to wince when Steve reared back in dumbfounded shock.

 

“Uhh...” It was as if someone (Tony) had pressed the hard reboot on his super soldier brain, his eyes a blank blue screen as he tried to process a naked playboy genus billionaire wrapped up like a gift as his feet. “Are... do you... hm.”

 

“Eloquent,” Tony said. It seemed to do its job of rousing Steve out of his stupor.

 

“Shut up, how am I supposed to react to this exactly?” Steve mumbled, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

 

“Probably by doing something,” Tony snapped impatiently, “something other than staring.”

 

“What- uh.... what do you want me to do?”

 

“Anything, I’m dying of boredom and a sore back.”

 

That had Steve going into motion immediately, going to Tony’s side and hesitantly touching his chest. “Who did this? Were you and Bucky...?”

 

“Steve,” Tony took a deep breath, “I’m being really honest here. Can you hear me out?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Steve nodded earnestly.

 

“I’m really horny, severely frustrated, and interested in having sex with you. Right now.” Tony pursed his lips, “so if you’re not interested—

 

“Right now?” Steve interrupted.

 

“Yes, right now! I’m literally gift wrapped for you, what the hell else do you want from me— mmf!” For a stammering mess, Steve could kiss like the devil himself. Tony practically melted into him, hands straining against their bonds. A small, embarrassing whine left him when Steve pulled away.

 

“Do you want me to untie you?” Steve asked breathlessly, eyes roving down Tony’s prone form.

 

“I’d rather you unwrap me.” Tony smirked, arching up to plant another kiss on Steve’s lips.

 

“I can do that,” Steve said under his breath, gloved hands running along Tony’s skin and sending shocks of pleasure down his spine. “I should probably get undressed first.”

 

“Nah, leave it on- well, except for the gloves. That’ll make some things harder.” He didn’t bother keeping a straight face, especially when Steve rolled his eyes.

 

“Tony...” Steve shook his head, smiling fondly. He pulled off the gloves, back to business in a heartbeat. Leaning over Tony, his eyes flicked across the tan skin with a strategist’s gaze, leaving a heated flush wherever he lingered. Before Tony could start whining, Steve finally licked his lips and run a hand down to the other’s tied ankles, playing with the rope.

 

“I never took you for a tease,” Tony breathe, wriggling his toes.

“And you’re as impatient as I thought you’d be,” Steve chuckled, finally undoing the knot. Hardly a moment passed before he was setting between Tony’s legs, stroking the other’s inners thigh with quiet reverence.

 

“You’ve thought of me like this?” Tony asked. He knew the answer, but Steve’s affirmation settled the unease in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Thought of you? Tony, god,” Steve’s ears were red, but his expression was intense, “I’ve dreamed of you.”

 

“Fuck.” Tony leaned his head back, caught off guard by the confession. Enough dallying. Time to fuck, he’d just gotten the declaration of a lifetime. He wrapped his legs around Steve’s slim hips and squeezed, biting his lip at the delicious friction of leather against his bare skin. Damn Steve for not untying his arms yet. “Dreams are for rookies, anyway, reality’s better.”

 

“Yeah,” Steve whispered, his forehead pressing to the other’s before he rolled his hips forward lightly. He grinned when Tony convulsed slightly.

 

“That’s not fair,” Tony said, “you can barely feel a thing with those pants on. You can’t keep working me up like this.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I can do whatever I want,” Steve drawled as he nuzzled the side of Tony’s cheek, hips nudging forward again to elicit more noises from the man under him, “‘cause someone’s tied up right now.”

 

“Steve,” Tony refused to admit that he had some whine to his voice, “take off your fucking pants or finger me.”

 

He was rightfully smug when Steve’s hips stuttered to a stop.

 

“You’re an absolute menace,” Steve laughed, sitting up again and sliding his hands down to cup Tony’s ass. He squeezed, none too gently, and smiled blissfully, “that’s as nice as I thought it would feel.”

 

“Bet it’ll feel nicer around your cock,” Tony offered helpfully. He shrugged when Steve quirked an eyebrow at him. “What? Subtlety is lost on you.”

 

Steve clearly felt the teasing had reached its limit. He pulled off the bow, but left Tony’s hands tied. At first, nothing happened. Then Steve’s hand wandered over to the convenient tube of lube Bucky left around and Tony had two fingers stuffed inside of him. He couldn’t even moan, Steve’s mouth sealing over his as he twisted and pressed around Tony’s wet heat. Tony clenched at the rough brush against his prostate, grinding down into Steve’s hand, panting ‘yes, fuck, yes’ against wet lips.

 

“Steve touch me,” Tony panted, “please, Steve.”

 

“I thought I was touching you,” Steve said, a bit too smart ass-like for Tony’s taste, “or did you mean here?”

 

It was just a cruel brush against the tip of his cock, but he jolted nonetheless.

 

“Steve,” he whined openly.

 

“I’ve got you, I’ve always got you,” he leaned down for another kiss before he went to take off his suit.

 

And that’s when it went downhill.

 

“Uh,” Steve went from smooth to awkward in an instant, “Tony?”

 

“Oh no,” Tony groaned.

 

“So...”

 

“No.”

 

“This is a jumpsuit. The uh, zipper’s on the back,” Steve tried to twist around, “and I think the zipper tab broke off.”

 

“Untie me, clearly you need a genius to get undressed.” He just wanted to get fucked, was that too much to ask? Just one- just one good fucking.

 

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled, making quick work of Tony’s remaining binds.

 

Tony sat up and shoved Steve around.

 

“Did...did you get set on fire?” Tony asked, flabbergasted at the melted mess of a zipper.

 

“I was sparring with Clint earlier and he set off an explosive arrow behind me- I hadn’t realized...gosh, Tony, this is a mess.” Steve rubbed his face miserably, “maybe we should call this off—

 

“If you...even try to finish that sentence,” Tony warned, still aggressively tugging Steve’s suit in an attempt to tear it open. “None of this would’ve happened if Barnes had let me do this in my own way. Fuck you Barnes, you motherfucker.”

 

“James Barnes has been alerted of your safe word usage and will be coming down shortly,” Friday announced.

 

“What?” Steve and Tony yelped in unison.


End file.
